that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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