There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you guys were way drunker than both of me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Randomize
