so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Randomize
