We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
