I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
