See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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