My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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