I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
