I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
