...so i touched it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
