im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize