Whod you bang
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
