So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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