Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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