I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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