Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
