they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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