Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
