I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
