There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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