I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
