I have demons in me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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