He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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