Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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