HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
