I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
