Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
