My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
