someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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