Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I love having hate sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
