You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
