I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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