Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
