puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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