I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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