Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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