there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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