It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
