honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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