4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
