You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize