did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
