Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
