literally had 100 drinks last night.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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