Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
