mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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