There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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