lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was born a porn star she said
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
