I think my vagina is haunted
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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