i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
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I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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