only if we run a train.
done.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
