Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i think my mom watched the whole time
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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