so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
