Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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