She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
