I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
