come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize