none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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