Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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