I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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