is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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