names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
